TEDDY & THE FRAT GIRLS’ SHEER SMEGMA

One of the most unhinged pieces of vinyl from the go-go early 1980s is the “Audio Suicide” EP from SHEER SMEGMA, released at the dawn of the Reagan era in 1980. I’d like to post a song from it for you here called “I Owe It To The Girls”. It’s a beautiful aural cancer, destined to drive you to drink or worse. Here’s something I wrote about the band and this song on an old blog a few years ago:

I’ve touted this ear-bleeding band of low class 1980 Florida freaks for a few years on the basis on the two trailer trash tracks of theirs I’d heard: “Club Night” and “I Owe It To The Girls”. Both came from their only EP “Audio Suicide”, a record that’s achieved semi-legendary status as one of more retarded noisy shrieks of the punk/D.I.Y. era. Very soon after its release, the band quickly switched their name to the far more refined TEDDY AND THE FRAT GIRLS (as in Florida mass murderer Ted Bundy). Danger has always lurked in my mind knowing that Jello Biafra put out the 12”EP version by the new group in 1982 (same exact songs), and now that I’ve heard the band’s dumb poop song (“Alophen Baby”) and their dumb fake-German genderbender song (“I Wanna Be a Man”), I can certainly guess which half Jello probably fell for. But those other two, the ones available on compilations (KBD #5 and one of the HOMEWORKs, respectively), are just destroyed.

If it’s true that the band were really sun-baked junkies, you’ll have no problem believing it in a country minute when you hear the gasping cries of terror and withdrawal at the end of “I Owe It To The Girls”. The woman who “sings” sounds about 16, and wise to the evil ways of the world far beyond her years. Her potty mouth and reckless disregard for taste & style is now the stuff of legend, and the music is this barely-registering herk-and-jerk minimalist guitar fuzz and bass. Totally weird and out of step with all that's right and true. Outside of maybe the first HALF JAPANESE record, I can’t think of a really good 45 that would piss off parents, neighbors and your alternajerk friends more then this one.

Subsequent to that post, my Agony Shorthand blog received this comment from one "Jonny 5":

club nite and i owe it to the girls were both written by my mom Sarah P. aka Fish who wrote for the now truly legendary Mouth Of Rat fanzine (1st of its kind in SoFla + eventual record label to beastie boys) before forming this all girl band with a 16 year old singer (bingo!) a 20+ ex-debutante turned punkette and the wife of Eat gttrst Eddie O'Brien. My uncle Mike Allen who lived next door and cleaned pools at Centuy Village w/my mom snuck them into the CenVil club house to shoot the "piano/cello stage shot... the front shot was done in our dining room with a roll of backgroud color and xeroxed at their work fer free. I was 13/14 at the time and co-wrote alophen baby and iwanna be a man with Cookie and my 7 year old sister Lona. Cookie & Spam want to Cali and sold the rights to the tapes to Jello without Fish's consent. The woman who wrote "I Owe It To The Girls" & "Club Nite" has never been addressed for her contribution to the venture... jonny 5

Play or Download SHEER SMEGMA/TEDDY & THE FRAT GIRLS – “I Owe It To The Girls” (from 1980 7”EP)